As luck would have it.

I don't think I am a lucky person.  I don't particularly think I am unlucky, but maybe more that I just don't usually concern myself with luck one way or the other.

This thought came up when today I won a $50 gift card to Amazon.  I completed a youth ministry survey with Spark (yes, I completed a survey).  They gave 5 Amazon gift cards away and I won one?  How cool is that?

Earlier this year, my friend who makes beautiful handmade Waldorf style dolls and sells them on etsy  http://www.etsy.com/shop/imogensgarden .  On her blog here on Blogger, she hosted a giveaway of one of her beautiful dolls.  I posted my favorite flower and why on her blog and was randomly chosen as the winner.  Linnea sits in a special place in my house on my devotional shelf.  (Cade even plays with her every now and then even though he is a boy and won't admit it.)

Even earlier this year, March, I was the 3000th fan on Facebook for Greenling.com.  Greenling is a fabulous food delivery place that delivers local veggies as well as local meats and other fabulous organic goodies.  Check them out at http://www.greenling.com/

I don't try to win things.  The things that I have "entered" this year are things I believe strongly  in.  Greenling is an awesome resource to get great groceries to your door.  They are organic and go local when possible.  How awesome!

Anna is a friend from college and her dolls speak for themselves.  When she gets one made it IMMEDIATELY flies off her etsy page.  I am already eyeing her page for when she releases a little boy doll with a mohawk.  Cade is sure he needs one of those.

And, Spark was working on letting potential customers know about their new curriculum for youth.  I am not totally happy with our current curriculum and will definitely be checking out their options.

But back to this luck thing...

What makes a person lucky?  Can a person be lucky?  I don't think I believe in luck.  Winning is not really a big deal (but it does feel really cool).  It actually made me think of a story in the Bible--

Luke 8: 42 - 48 As Jesus was on his way, the crowds almost crushed him. ⁴³And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years,^[d] but no one could heal her. ⁴⁴She came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak, and immediately her bleeding stopped.
 ⁴⁵"Who touched me?" Jesus asked.
      When they all denied it, Peter said, "Master, the people are crowding and pressing against you."
 ⁴⁶But Jesus said, "Someone touched me; I know that power has gone out from me."
 ⁴⁷Then the woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed, came trembling and fell at his feet. In the presence of all the people, she told why she had touched him and how she had been instantly healed. ⁴⁸Then he said to her, "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace."

My faith in God goes far beyond whatever luck may be in my life.  I think this whole letting go part of me that I am going through has led me to just further understand this fact.

Way beyond any contest anyone ever wins is a simple question -- what do I believe in?  Who do I trust?  What is important to me?  In my heart of hearts, I can most certainly answer those questions.

Is it cool to win things?  Yes, of course.  The things I have won have had no risk involved and that is cool.  Is it even cooler to know who I am and what I believe in?  Most definitely.

So what do I need to buy from Amazon?

Defying Gravity

I am a fan of Glee.  You could say it is one of my guilty pleasures.  A couple months ago, Jody bought me one of the soundtracks.  It has a song  from Wicked musical, Defying Gravity. 


The song has become very relevant recently.  The first verse REALLY hits the nail on the head:


Something has changed within me 
Something is not the same 
I'm through with playing by the rules 
Of someone else's game 
Too late for second-guessing 
Too late to go back to sleep 
It's time to trust my instincts 
Close my eyes: and leap! 


I am a people pleaser.  I exist to make people happy.  I feel accomplished by constantly fixing things.  There has come a point this year especially, that I realize this is not healthy for me.  It is not always easy to deny but it is a major change in who I am.  I have usually sacrificed so much of me to keep the rest of the world happy.  This is not a good thing.  


Admitting this to myself is a huge step.  Even more than this step, I am slowly realizing that I can not always fix things.  I can't make everyone like me.  I can't even make everyone happy.  
That sucks.  The ego part of me wants to fix it.  The ego part of me wants to do what the ego part does.  


This is truly a leap of faith for me.  Coming to a place within myself, within who I truly am that can say, I am not always in control of fixing things is scary.  It is a daily learning for me.  


But why do we do this?  Why do we come to a point where we are sacrificing our needs to make other people happy?  I wish I had the answer.  I wish there was an easy fix.  I spend daily time in prayer to better understand why I need to change in this.  


What I currently know is that 
           1. God is in control.  God is and will always be God and I am not.
           2.  I can't make everyone happy.  
           3.  I can't always fix things.  


                                  and that is ok




It's time to try defying gravity.  Kiss me goodbye, I'm defying gravity.  I think I'll try defying gravity and you won't bring me down.

It was HOT today

Ok, this summer has not been a hot one as a whole.  Texas has had a mild summer which is definitely a welcomed change in the grand scheme of things.  This afternoon, I stood outside and sorted through somebody from church's stuff that they were getting rid of.  I was in the garage for about 2 hours and it was HOT.  By the time I got home I was very thirsty.  I drank about half a gallon of water.  I could not drink fast enough.

Thirst is a funny thing.  Often times when we find ourselves thirsty, we grab the closest thing possible.  I am not sure it always quenches our thirst.

I just started a book about thirst.  It is not thirst like you quench with liquid.  It is a thirst for God.  We all thirst for something.  We all find a void that must be filled with something.

Too often in my life, I have filled that void with the wrong things.  Too often I have found whatever I am filling that void with does not quench my thirst.  Sometimes it even does the contrary.  Many times whatever we "fill" our thirst will make us thirstier.

For the past few months, I have found myself parched.  I am not sure I understood it.  I am not sure I wanted to even admit it.  Admitting that you are not as close as you want to be with God is disheartening.  Jesus tells of the Samaritan woman at the well.  Jesus says that he provides the water to quench her thirst.  She says well give it to me so I don't have to keep coming back to the well everyday.

We want the easy answer.  We want the thirst to be filled instantly.  We of course don't want to work to quench that thirst.  All we have to do is drink some Gatorade, right?

 The thing I  constantly need to be reminded of is that my thirst needs to be quenched daily.  Daily I return to God to spend time in God's presence.  Daily I am reminded that that time truly fills me.

AMEN