The stones in my life that lead to a better me

I get to church VERY early Sunday mornings. Lots of times it is because of tasks that need to be completed but often, it is the quiet that I need before the busyness starts.

I have a little "altar" in my office. It has my devotion books, a candle, a pretty cloth, one of my violins and a bowl of stones. Youth and Family Institute calls these "Milestones." More than that though, these are stones I have collected from places... stones that hold some meaning. This morning's quiet time focused on these stones.

I knew the ones I had selected and tossed them down. Emptying my brain of all the noise is still challenging. I think it always will be. But, just listening to the computer fan and the other little noises my office has, I started focusing on the stones.

I had selected - Faith. Faith is something I believe strongly in. Faith helps me to understand my purpose in the world. My faith in God, my faith in others, but mostly my faith in myself.

The mountaintop experiences and the deep valley lows. Wow there has been alot of those. More than I care to admit. Often I find that in the deepest darkest moments, I find God most of all. In my pain and sorrow of the world, God is there.

The new beginnings stone - this prayer and meditation journey I am on is still very new to me. It is still new to me that I need the silence. I am a person who always has noise and always has movement in life. I don't sit still well. My ADD makes me want to jump from task to task to wherever life is leading at that moment. But this newfound silence makes me just want to sit and listen and yearn for whatever God is doing in my life. I find it crazy at times, but I like it. I like the feeling of releasing all the stuff in my life to God.

And the peace stone - this relaxation and comfort I have wanted for so long is AMAZING. It is nice to be able to not focus on the stress and craziness and "be still." I have not found the peace yet in every moment because there will always be the noise. BUT, I have found comfort and solace in God and understanding already of this person that I did not totally know existed. and all I can say is WOW.

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

AMEN

The Journey has to start somewhere

So, here goes. This is the deeper me. The me that I am searching for. There are many roads of life that I have been on. Some make sense. Some are really conflicting. Some are even scary. In all of these roads I find a little bit more about myself.

So tonight it started. I was headed out of my house to run an errand with Cade and I locked the keys inside the house. Yeah, smooth move. Jody was 35 minutes away and there was really only one thing to do. Start walking. I wasn't in the correct shoes. Poor Cade was already wiped but it was a new adventure.

So we walked. Talked about the cars on the road. Talked about the bugs like the butterflies that were everywhere. And we walked. In all, it was almost 2 miles. We rested. We stopped but mostly we walked. It was tiring to already tired legs. It was kinda fun. But most of all, it started my new journey.

In that 30 minutes, I did alot of thinking. Thinking how locking your keys in the house was not smart. Thinking about recent changes in my life. Just thinking. What I came to on this 2 mile stretch of paved sidewalk, slight terrain, lots of fireants and a short trip into the street was that it was alot like life.

In life we sometimes take these diverted paths -- paths that lead to self discovery and are not necessarily where we wanted to head in the first place. We like our comfortable cushy car that drives us from place to place. We like to have the right shoes for our journey on foot. So, when that does not happen as expected, we adapt. We change a bit to fit the situation and go on.

On my journey tonight, I realized the importance of safety. I realized how protective I am of Cade even jeopardizing my safety.I realized the importance of water as I was parched after that 2 mile jaunt. I realized that the quietness and stillness that I have been so desperate for recently comes when I least expect it. God and I had a nice little talk during this journey tonight. It was settling, peaceful and refreshing. Unexpected as it may have been, it was one of the nicest little journeys I could have taken after a busy busy day.

I could slow down. I could let the world stop. I could just BE.

Dear God, Help me to slow down. Help me to take the steps in my life to make it from point A to B and to become the person I so desire to be. Help me to walk the necessary diverted roads and to learn something during those times of change. Help me protect what is nearest and dearest to me along these roads.

AMEN