Are you floating in the waters of God's unconditional love for you?

This one is a hard one for me.  We all know that I really am a do-er.  I do.  I go from place to place, thing to thing, priority to priority with the greatest of ease.  I am a plan-ner.  I have to know what is going to happen next.  Spontaneous behavior does not suit me well.


Last summer when our high school youth went to New Orleans, my youth parents knew 2 weeks in advance where there child would be the ENTIRE time they were in New Orleans.  (Yes, I considered bathroom breaks on the schedule).  Flying by the seat of my pants doesn't work to well.  


So, when I read a post from my sister this morning that read --On this day, God wants you to know...

... that you are a human being, not a human doing. Take time to just be, to breathe slowly, to feel your body that is the temple of your soul. No activities, no worries, no buzzing. 

Wow, if that does not hit home -- way too close to home.  I am a do-er.  I have said that.  

So, when someone today told me to "float in the waters of God's unconditional love for me and not worry about swimming to my next destination,"  WOW!!

I am filled with God's amazing unconditional love for me.  It has to be unconditional because many times I am a screwed up mess.  So many times I find myself lost in the midst of the eternal to do list.  So many times I put God on the back burner.  I am swimming in that water, but floating?

Now that I think about it, I can relate this all to knitting.  When I first started knitting 5 years ago, I hated it.  I didn't understand why I couldn't sit down and 2 hours later have a new scarf.  Knitting takes time.  Knitting takes focus.  Knitting is doing but the more I realize that it is the enjoyment of going through the project much more than the finished piece.  I have friends that have had UFOs (unfinished objects for you knitting muggles) for years.  I have a piece that I would  LOVE to have done tomorrow.  It is not going to happen.  

Meditation is a huge part of my knitting.  Spending time in the repetition of the stitches, the clicking of the needles, not yet knowing what the finished project will look like (and most of the time not caring).  

Now, the do-er in me gets impatient MANY times in my knitting.  I want it done now.  I want to start something new.  I want to give ____ to whoever.  NOW NOW NOW.  

The be-ing person though focuses on knitting in the stitches of that wonderful love for me, not worrying about the finished project.  

AMEN

Yes... Eve ate the apple. But WHY?

My last blog touched on the subject of temptation.  Sometimes we give in to temptations because we are in the habit of doing them.  

But, what exactly is a temptation?  I whipped right over to wikipedia just to see if I could find any guidance as to what exactly it is -- and there I found:

"Temptation" is something that allures, excites, and seduces someone.

Now let's think about this for a minute.  If we go back to Adam and Eve.  Eve was tempted by the "forbidden fruit."  It called to her, she yearned to taste and have her eyes opened.  But, what happened?  She found she REALLY didn't like what she saw.  She found "original sin."  

On a more "today" level.  Commercials and media tempt us daily, hourly.  They feed into our desires and needs.  We have to have these various things and products in our world or we will NEVER be happy.  

I remember back at Christmas when every show was inundated with toy commercials.  "Mommy, I want that."  "Can I have that?" "Mommy, that is SO COOL."  Then there is the Toys R US Toy Book that comes out (yes, WalMart and Target have followed suit with comparable books).  Cade SLEPT with the book.  He read the book daily.  He just knew that he really NEEDED these things.  He HAD TO HAVE the latest and greatest and most desired toys.  

Why do we have to have them though?  Why do we really think that the brand new latest and greatest __________ will truly make us happy?  Why do we allow ourselves to be tempted at all?  We know these things are only going to fill a small void very temporarily.  

Last Sunday, I preached my children sermon on this very thought.  The scripture, Luke 4:4, "Jesus answered him, “It is written, ‘One does not live by bread alone."  I asked them if the things that made them "happy" right now would still make them happy in 10 years.  The exciting WII game, Miley Cyrus, Transformers.  All of these things provide a temporary happiness but none will last.  As much of a cult classic as Spongebob is, as much as 10 years from now we will still sing that stupid theme song, will Spongebob really make us happy?

In life we are tempted.  In life we try and fill voids with things that we THINK will make us happy.  We find things that provide us pleasure.  My favorite dessert in the world is fresh gooey homemade fudge.  Just thinking about that chocolaty goodness makes my senses jump.  It is rich, it is almost sinful, but homemade fudge provides pleasure for me.  But will it make me happy?  Momentarily I guess, but no.  

Marketers, tempters use triggers to get at every one of our senses.  They make things look REALLY appealing because they know we will give in to that temptation.  They get into our heads and make us believe that these things will make us happy, but they will only be temporary.  

Oh look, there is a skunk!! I wonder if it smells?

There is a word that I have been trying to think of all morning and I can't figure it out but blogging about it anyways.

As I was driving Cade to school this morning, there was a dead skunk in the road.  Why even though you know the skunk is going to smell bad, the first thing you do is sniff and say, "Wow, that skunk smelled bad?"  DUH!!  Of course it smelled bad.  Our first instinct should have been to not smell.

The same goes for when someone else smells a skunk.  Your friend will say, "Oh yuck, skunk smell."  What do you do?  Smell the skunk of course.  It is crazy that we do these things.  We know the skunk is going to smell.  We know this and still when we see a skunk or someone else smells a skunk, we sniff too.  Crazy.

But really, we do things all the time that we know are bad for us.  We do things to harm ourselves daily, possibly even hourly.  Caffeine is one of the most abused legal substances in the world.  It is not good for us.  We know this.  What do I have next to me right this minute?  My third cup of coffee.  I should not eat carbs.  I should only eat carbs that have an extremely high glycemic index.  My body does not know what to do with carbohydrates.  What did I have for breakfast?  Bread.

Throughout life we do things that we know are bad.  We know that we should do things like workout, eat right, drink lots of water but we don't.  We know that we should stay away from things like candy, drugs, alcohol but still many of us get tempted to harm ourselves even further.

Hmmm... temptation.  Now, we know we should not be tempted.  We pray in the Lord's prayer, "Lead us not into temptation and deliver us from evil."  We pray it, we say it, we sometimes even mean it.  And still, we do things that harm us.  We know what is right and wrong.  We know this and still we get lead into the dark side.

Romans 7:14-25

We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin.  I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.  And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.  For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.  For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me.  For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members.  What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?  Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!
      So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

It is funny that this is even covered in the Bible.  But of course!!  Of course, it is free will.  Most habits are learned habits.  So why do we do them?  I know the things I shouldn't do, but still I give in to temptation.  I struggle daily with these temptations.  


I know why I give in to temptations.  I am weak.  We all are.  Everyday I ask for strength and help to overcome the things I should not do.

Those things I can overcome, but I still will never understand why I see a skunk and immediately sniff to see if it really smells.

:)

Yeah... I am a perfectionist. So, what of it?

Recently I redid my Myers Briggs Personality test.  I haven't done one since probably college.  I have wanted to see what had changed but always forgot to look them up.  So, when a friend posted the test on Facebook, I decided to check it out.

So, when I was younger I was an ENFP.  I have not changed much but now am an INFP.  I started reading about that personality type and, wow, it is dead on.
I found really true information about me on www.personalitypage.com.


Their primary goal is to find out their meaning in life. What is their purpose? How can they best serve humanity in their lives? They are idealists and perfectionists, who drive themselves hard in their quest for achieving the goals they have identified for themselves.

Wow, that is true.  


They do not like conflict, and go to great lengths to avoid it. If they must face it, they will always approach it from the perspective of their feelings. In conflict situations, INFPs place little importance on who is right and who is wrong. They focus on the way that the conflict makes them feel, and indeed don't really care whether or not they're right. They don't want to feel badly. 


Yeah, I pretty much avoid conflict at all costs.  I do not like to be wrong.  


INFPs are flexible and laid-back, until one of their values is violated. In the face of their value system being threatened, INFPs can become aggressive defenders, fighting passionately for their cause. When an INFP has adopted a project or job which they're interested in, it usually becomes a "cause" for them. Although they are not detail-oriented individuals, they will cover every possible detail with determination and vigor when working for their "cause".


Anyone who has ever worked with me on a project knows that I plan for EVERYTHING. I severely overplan.  I also take my projects VERY personally.  


Now this next part -- I find really wrong (actually really right... painfully right).


INFPs have very high standards and are perfectionists. Consequently, they are usually hard on themselves, and don't give themselves enough credit. INFPs may have problems working on a project in a group, because their standards are likely to be higher than other members' of the group. In group situations, they may have a "control" problem. The INFP needs to work on balancing their high ideals with the requirements of every day living. Without resolving this conflict, they will never be happy with themselves, and they may become confused and paralyzed about what to do with their lives.




These tests aren't fool proof but they do help to really show why we behave the way we behave.  I don't know if I truly consider myself as an introvert, but I don't like crowds.  I get extremely drained in social situations and I really enjoy the quiet sides of life.  




Of course, I share my INFP self with some interesting people in history -- William Shakespeare, Mr Rogers, Dick Clark, George Orwell, Tom Brokaw, JFK Jr, Joan of Arc and many more.  


Life is kinda funny sometimes.  It is important to know who you are and if you can understand why you act a certain way -- it becomes easier to understand how you view the world.  


Very interesting (although I will argue with you that I am NOT controlling.)

Be still and know

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells.  God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.  Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts. The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress."
    
Psalm 46 is a beautiful piece of scripture.  It is a scripture that we do not like to think could EVER be about us.  Fact is -- we all have low points.  We all have times in our life where we scream out to God.

We like to talk about the frilly times.  We like to talk about the pretty mountain top experiences of our lives where everything is right and holy with the world.  We like to push away the "bad" times.  The more we push them away, the more we realize they happen.

I have a horrible fear of thunderstorms.  I hate them.  I feel like it is a real loss of control for me.  When I was 4, I lived through a tornado.  It was scary. I remember the storm shelter in Lubbock Texas VERY vivdly.  I remember the boxer puppy, Toot, that was our neighbor's dog in the corner of the shelter scared to death.  I felt about like Toot did.

The second year I worked at Lutherhill, I remember the first night of staff training.  We had a tornado.  I remember again being scared to death.  I was considered leadership because I had been on staff before.  I hate thunderstorms so the thought of being "in charge" was petrifying.

I was asked the other day when fear becomes love.  Over the years, I have come to accept thunderstorms.  I recognize that I am safe and recognize that God is wrapping me in His arms keeping me safe.  My fear for thunderstorms has become an outpouring of love and grace toward God.  I still don't "like" them, but I can find love in them.

So, what about low places?  In the lowest of the low places, how does fear become love?  How do you react out of love in those times and not fear?

The only thing I can say is with faith.  I am still learning to believe that.  I want to react out of fear and control of my situations but know that it is out of love and giving all things to God that I find my faith.  Releasing those things which I cannot control only make me stronger in my love and faith.

And later on in Psalm 46 verse 10 is a verse I keep coming back to -- "Be still and know that I am God."  That verse is a verse that I have come to focus on when all is busy and crazy in the world.  Be still.  That is so so hard to do.  The knowing that I am God is much easier.  Even there though, knowing that God is in complete control and is cradling me in His arms is not always easily understood.  It is not always easy to accept that I don't have control.

Be still and know that I am God.
Amen

Fat Tuesday -- Shrove Tuesday -- Mardi Gras

Today, all over the world, people celebrate.  Most have no idea what they are celebrating.  Most have no clue what they are partying for.  They just know that on the Tuesday before Ash Wednesday, you are supposed to celebrate.

There is a bunch of traditions and folklore behind the celebrations.  There are beliefs and understandings about why we do what we do on Shrove Tuesday.  There are EVEN 100s of different names for the celebration.  Many would insist it is Biblical, many know that it is not and still many don't care.

The celebration as I understand it is "The Festival and Feast before the Fast."  For me, I have grown to understand Ash Wednesday as my time to refocus my life and my faith.  It is a time for me to make sacrifices and live my life more toward God.  Back on New Year's I talked about resolutions and the fact that I don't make them.  I guess today would be my New Year's Eve.  Today would be the day that I look inward and see what parts of my life need some fixing.

Lots of people give up things for Lent.  Again, most don't really know why -- they are just supposed to.  People give up coffee because they think they are sacrificing that yummy goodness.  They don't often look to the deeper levels of spending that effort of drinking coffee and thinking about the lack of coffee as God time.  Replacing what you have given up to spend time with the Lord.

One of my youth gave up social networking last year.  (I probably should do that but ... no).  She spent that time in Bible Study and prayer.  She found she did not miss the pointless computer time.

For me personally, Lent is a time when I can refocus my life.  It is a time where I can focus on the important things -- eating right, being financially sound, spending time with God intentionally.  Hopefully, this also means for me that this becomes a habit and a lifestyle.  As Easter approaches, I don't go "WOOHOO, now I don't have to spend ALL that time in prayer."

I think we all set out at Lent for the appropriate reasons.  We go into it maybe not understanding the whys of Lent but understanding that it is important.  I think though, if we don't realize that "giving up something" or making goals of living right during Lent is not JUST a Lent thing, then we are doing this Lent thing for all the wrong reasons.

Making new promises to God and to ourselves should be a daily walk -- not just during Lent and not just on Sundays at church.

AMEN

Gravy and Frosting in your life

I finished a book yesterday.  I am still chewing on it and will probably have to reread it to see what all I missed.  I do recommend it as a great book, a book that will challenge you and make you realize things about yourself and the world around you.  I don't want to give much away about the book, Mutant Message Down Under by Marlo Morgan.  There were many things that hit me in this book but the description of gravy and frosting really made me think.

The book is about an Aboriginal tribe that invites a woman to go on a Walkabout.  The book tells of her journey of spirituality and life with these people.  She shares with them many things about the outside world like gravy and frosting.

Now, I am not much of a gravy eater.  I never have liked gravy except on my mashed potatoes and biscuits (things that I shouldn't eat anyway).  Frosting on the otherhand -- who doesn't like frosting?

The discussion on frosting and gravy went beyond what it was and what purpose it served.  Before she left the Aborigine tribe, they said this of gravy -- Mutants (that is us, people in society), know truth, but it is buried under thickening and spices of convenience, materialism, insecurity and fear.

Wow.  Gravy covers the real taste of food.  Gravy masks the flavor of the food that is really there.  But on the deeper level, we mask and hide things from our real self all the time.  At an early age we put on masks to be the person that we think we should be.  At school we act one way, at work we act one way, and at church we act an even different way.  Who are we really?  Even more than that, how do we get rid of the gravy in our life and be who we really are meant to be?

Then they describe frosting.  Frosting is so yummy, especially cream cheese frosting.  The Aborigines describe frosting as how we spend almost all the seconds of our existence in doing superficial, artificial, temporary, pleasant-tasting, nice appearing stuff and very little time developing our eternal beingness.

OUCH!!  When you think of it like that, frosting is not so yummy.  I don't know how many times in my life I have put off the importance of prayer, the importance of renewing myself spiritually.  Many times I would love to just sleep in a little later and think about God another time.  Many times the thought of God does not even enter my head because I am too busy on "me" time.  That is really sad.  As yummy as all of that other stuff is, how can I truly grow in God's grace if I put it off?

I laugh at my son.  He HATES anything on his food.  I call him my little purist.  Any sauce makes the food dirty.  He doesn't like dirty meat (with saucy seasoning), he hates dirty macaroni (macaroni salad).  He doesn't like gravy, bbq sauce or anything that takes away from the simple food.  Of course, he is young.  He also doesn't have to wear masks in his world to hide who he really is.  He can be who he is and that is fabulous.  He doesn't even really like frosting all that much.  So often there is TOO MUCH frosting and he asks me to take it off.

Gravy and frosting are funny things.  We think we have to have them.  We think life is so much better with them than without.  We cover up what is really there.  We put our focus on the pleasant tasting things instead of the important.

What is the gravy and frosting in your life?  

It's all about perspective

I have a sweatshirt that I have had for awhile with Eeyore on it.  It says "Positive Pessimist."  Eeyore was always one of my favorite characters on Winnie the Pooh.  He just has a way with words.

"It's snowing still," said Eeyore gloomily.

"So it is."

"And freezing."

"Is it?"

"Yes," said Eeyore. "However," he said, brightening up a little, "we haven't had an earthquake lately."

Perspective is a funny thing.  We have optimists who like to see the cup as half full, the pessimists who like to see the cup as half empty.  It is all a matter of how you look at it I guess.  

I just came back from one of the other buildings at church.  When you have to travel from building to building, there is nothing connecting.  It is outside-inside-outside-inside.  It is a tad bit cold.  So, as I was headed back from the back building to the office, two ladies were sitting outside.  Dominoes starts here in a bit and they were waiting for the person to get there with the key.  Did I mention that it is cold?  So, they were just calmly chatting and when I came out, they asked if the building was open.  I quickly checked and invited them inside to wait for the others.  

One of the ladies is 91 and the other is in her 80s.  They said, "Oh don't worry about us, we are just getting our Vitamin D for the day. "  I said, "But aren't you cold?" (I know I was.)  Their reply, "Glad the sun is finally out.  It feels good. "

I can pinpoint many people that I run across in my life that would have been sitting there complaining that no one had yet opened the doors.  I can also see the people that would have IMMEDIATELY come into the office to get a key.  Needless to say, most would not have been sitting outside chitchatting happily waiting for someone with a key.  

In life, we don't like to wait for things.  We like things OUR way, right away (wasn't that a fast food slogan?).  We never just enjoy the moment.  Currently, I am reading a book that is alot about that very thing.  

I hope when I am over 80, I can sit outside happily taking in my Vitamin D in the 45 degree weather waiting 5 minutes for the door to be opened.  

AMEN

A truly beautiful experience

So, I have spoken a little about 30 hour famine and hunger lately.  (ok... actually a bunch).  It is amazing to me how God puts little experiences in our midst at the right time.  


As church ended yesterday, one of the ladies was in the Narthex and told me there was a gentleman in the Parish Hall who wanted to come to our Healing Service last night at 5:30 but would need a ride to the bus station.  Sundays after church are crazy busy and I almost forgot about him in the 10 minutes it took me to get over to the Parish Hall.  What with Souper Bowl of Caring stuff going on all weekend and my normal craziness of the day, I was glad he was standing visibly amongst the people.  


His name was John.  He was probably in his early to mid 60s.  He had a very gentle face.  Somehow he had stumbled onto our church's website and newsletter page to see that we were having a Service of Healing and Communion during our 5:30 worship.  He explained, then, that he had been battling cancer and was in remission.  He is heading up North today (North Dakota) and needed some extra prayers before heading North.  It was then that he explained a little about his past 5 months.  (the rest he explained before the worship time).  He was homeless.  Over the 5 months he had gone from shelter to shelter and hotel to hotel.  He had spent some nights in a laundromat that was next to a day labor site.  


He wanted me to point him toward somewhere he could "hang out" til the evening service.  I stashed his belongings (one very small suitcase and a small green bag -- all of his belongings).  He walked down to McDonalds to get some food.  And I finished my day.  


I was so tired and exhausted from the weekend that there was a part of me, a very selfish part, that just wanted to send him on his way.  There was a part of me that did not want to give up my precious "me" time to deal with this nuisance.  Something called to me to reach out to this man and give him time.  


When I got to church last night, there was John.  He and I spoke further about his last 5 months.  He came to San Antonio from up north in October.  He went through cancer treatment.  He started out in hotels along I35 but then when money got tight, he gave the shelters a chance.  We talked about the Salvation Army shelter.  We talked about the SAMM shelter.  We also talked about the difficulty of finding temporary labor due to the fact that the shelters in San Antonio are downtown but most of the labor sites are in other parts of the city.  We talked about the challenges of city transportation (I have a friend who has to rely on public transportation and all of her woes of that experience).  


He talked about his journey that morning from downtown Sunday.  He arrived in Converse at 9 that morning. He happened into another church that had a 9:30 worship.  He worshiped with them and they transported him over to our church.  After he had left CTK that morning, he walked down to McDonalds for a bite to eat.  He then saw there was a Family Dollar and browsed there and picked up something he needed.  He then told me about the amazing pet store across the street from church.  He browsed there for about an hour and then had another cup of coffee at McDonalds.  Jody, after worship gave him a ride back to the bus stop so that he could get back down to the Salvation Army shelter before it closed at 9pm.  


It was a remarkable experience.  He was excited about the possibility of worshipping with us last night.  He was delighted that Holy Communion would be part of the service (he did not expect that).  He was comforted by the words of healing and renewal.  He was so gentle and so full of faith.  


I am reminded of Matthew 25:35-36, 40


For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.  "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'
This weekend the youth and I talked alot about everyone having a story.  People have many reasons that they end up where they are.  People's circumstances can take them to the lowest places in the world.  The remarkable thing is that through all of this man's struggles, he still had a calm peace about him that I have not seen in a long time.  He had a faith that radiated from his soul.  


So what will today bring my friend, John?  When he wakes up he is going to look for work one more time in San Antonio.  If he does not find work, he will get on a greyhound bus and head to North Dakota.  He has a simple cabin there and has a job lined up.  His cancer is in remission and his spirit is strong.  


Thank God for my friend John.  I pray that God continues to bless and keep him safe.  


I truly saw the face of Christ yesterday.  


AMEN

Willingness to listen to God

Sometimes when you have things all planned out, you know exactly what is going to happen when, you have everything READY -- you realize that things need to go a different way.

This weekend the high school youth, 2 AAA Adults and myself went hungry.  We participated in the 30 Hour Famine sponsored by World Vision.  We ignored technology and food for 30 hours to bring awareness of those that do not have food.  This is my third year participating in this event.  Each year brings new discoveries about myself and the world as I know it.

So, I had everything planned completely.  Everything was ready.  We were going to wake up Saturday morning and do a simple devotional on temptation and Jesus' temptation in the desert.  Then I went to sleep Friday night. I dreamed all night about Baptism and renewal.  I dreamed about scriptures having to do with Baptism and renewal.  I dreamed about new ways to use these stones that I was going to give to the youth for the temptation lesson.  I woke up and was very motivated by this.  The funny thing was that I wanted to do what I planned.  I had worked on talking about hunger and talking about the temptations we have in our lives.

So I awoke at 5 am and spent some time praying.  I prayed for each of the youth there and the ones unable to be there.  It was then that I again was coming back to Baptism and renewal and walking daily in our Baptism. It was weird.  I didn't want to talk about Baptism but apparently God did.  At this point that was all I could come up with.  It had to be God.

So, I thumbed through scriptures still unsure of how I was going to relate this to the stones.  I was led to 1 Peter the second chapter that talks about being living stones.  We should not be stones to stumble over but we are building ourselves a spiritual house.

It is strange how all this works out.  I told my youth that morning that I had this whole lesson planned out but dreamed about a whole different lesson that was much more what needed to be developed.

God speaks to us everyday.  Normally I don't dream about God speaking to me.  I have to admit that was a very different experience.  It was truly a blessing though.  I knew that God was leading me to what I needed to say.

AMEN

Are you feeding your hunger?

So, this week I have been preparing for our High School 30 Hour Famine with church.  This has become a tradition to take part in at Christ the King.  The week before (and actually before that) I spend readying Bible Studies, compiling facts, finalizing schedules, preparing worships.  Much of my devotion time is reading and studying scriptures on hunger.

All this has led me to begin to look seriously at what I hunger for.  What do I yearn for and need both physically and spiritually?  We spend everyday feeding ourselves.  We feed ourselves a balanced diet (hopefully).  We try to focus on the food that our body really needs, well, most of the time.  We feed ourselves with knowledge.  We feed ourselves with relationships.

But, what if we are doing it all wrong?  Many times we think about the junk food we put into our bodies.  We think about the McDonald's value meal that is just easier than going home and spending 15 minutes to put something healthy together for dinner.  We make excuses and for the most part easily can turn our eating into something more healthy.  Sure, we give in to temptations and have that bowl of Blue Bell ice cream that we know we shouldn't, but it is more and more being ingrained in our brains the benefits of eating healthy.

Feeding our bodies healthy food is one thing but what about feeding our minds?  I am a TV junkie at times.  I make excuses that I am just relaxing (as I sit in front of the TV rotting my brain).  I am a sucker for shows that are pointless and suck me in to the drama.  Jody laughed at me last night because I had my new books from Amazon sitting by my chair.  Additionally I had my daily devotional books that I had brought home from work to sit in my little "sacred space" at home.  He said, "What? Are you becoming a book worm?"

I have said it several times here recently, I am not much of a reader.  That is changing.  Spending quality time reading and reading to Cade (which we have always done) is so much more beneficial to my life than aimlessly watching television.  Focusing on feeding my mind with things that are not junk is so much healthier.  That is definitely not a bad thing.

But what of other hungers and longings?  People long for love -- they long for deep meaningful close relationships.  People long to have a shoulder to cry on -- someone to show that they are there to care, love and support.  People long for people.  You can always tell when someone has not been around people for awhile.  When you talk to them on the phone, they yearn to just talk.  They talk and talk and talk just to connect with another human voice.

Are you feeding your hunger?

Rest, Sleep, and Sabbath

Yesterday was SUPER long for me.  Tuesdays are always challenging because they are usually meeting night at church and Cade has gymnastics.  Add that to the morning workouts I have been doing since the beginning of the year and the fact that I woke up at 4 am yesterday, yeah I was pretty tired.  


I often end up burning the candle at both ends.  I always have several projects going at once and want to get them all done immediately.  It doesn't always work that way.  


A couple weeks ago, on a Sunday night, I had a funny thing happen.  Saturday night was a late night from 6 til 11pm with one group, Sunday afternoon was game day with another group.  We got back to the church at 3:30 and I knew that I had 30 minutes between the ending of that and Praise Band to regroup.  


I listened to some music and had prayer time.  The next thing I knew, Pastor was standing in my office giggling at me.  Apparently, I was in a little deeper prayer time than I had planned.  I fell asleep.  I was out cold.  I didn't realize I was tired really, only that I needed to regroup.  


Sleep and rest is a funny thing.  It is a time of healing, it is a time of repair.  It is a time to slow down.  I like life in the fast lane.  I like the constant movement of the world (have said this many times).  What this leads me to, though is times where my "God time" leads to sleep.  


Because of yesterday's long day of prayer time, the gym, work, gymnastics, Praise Band and helping the guys at church fix the shed -- today seems kinda sleepy.  My thoughts are racing but my mind just wants to take a nap.  


In Matthew 11:28, Jesus says -- "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."


I don't think afternoon naps are quite what Jesus had in mind, but more specifically, recognizing the need for quiet time with God to rest your mind and your soul.  Quiet time reflecting on the blessings amidst the chaos sounds like wonderful rest to me.  


AMEN

Journeys...

Life is a funny thing.  It is a crazy journey of twists and turns, ups and downs, dirt roads paved roads.  Yeah, all of that seems pretty cliche.  


I woke up this morning at 4 am.  It is a horrible habit that I really need to remedy.  Fortunately though, I like to use it to my advantage too.  I often lay there, hoping to go back to sleep; lay there and think about the day; or sometimes decide I can do something productive.  (The last of these usually does not happen at that hour).  


I wanted to go back to sleep this morning.  Or at least, I thought I did.  I was laying there and started humming a song.  When music is added to my quiet time, sleep does not happen.  So, I got up and decided this was as good a time as any for some God time.  First though, I needed to listen to the song that was in my head to figure out what I was humming to.  It is a song by Peter Mayer who has led the house band at the last two National Youth Gatherings.  Here are the words:


Refrain
Ever walk with me Lord
Each night and day a rejoicing
With kindness the harmony, justice the beat
You've turned my footsteps to dancing
Oh Ever walk with me Lord

How can I come before You?
What worthy gift could I bring?
What glorious feast could I offer?
What songs of majesty sing?
Lift this heart of sadness into gladness by Your peace
Before I can come before You, You come to me

Refrain

In my work I grow weary
Lost on this road of desires
Where is the path that leads homeward?
To bring me back to Your fire
Lift these eyes of sadness into gladness at Your peace
I am lost and weary, come shepherd me

Refrain

A million voices surround me
How can I hear when You call?
When at last grace has found me
Will I recognize it at all?
Lift this song of sadness into gladness at Your feast
To hear Your voice is calling, come walk with me

Refrain

It is amazing to me how God puts thoughts into your head at just the right time.  The song is on regular rotation on my MP3 player but I probably have not heard it since last week.  I constantly listen to music so this particular song should have easily been lost amongst Lady Gaga and Eric Clapton.  Why this song?


Yesterday I was asked who God was to me?  Wow, that can have SO many answers.  I could probably go on for hours with different names and images of God.  My answer, "God is in control of my life.  God is God and I am not."  As I prayed on this and prayed on the words of this song, I started realizing that the words to this song uttered just that thought.  As much as I like my control, as much as I like to think that I have total control, God is walking right with me guiding my footsteps to dancing.  


Life is a series of journeys.  Often we get lost in the priorities and the storms of life.  As I said about my fever blisters last week, nuissances are just temporary bumps in the road.  As much as we like to have control, we also realize that God is right there leading us, waiting for us to follow.  


AMEN