Worshipping God in a whole new way????Hmmm... it was cool?

I have had the honor and privilege to worship God in some pretty awesome settings.  I have worshipped God in the midst of 60000 worshippers praying together in an open field.  I have worshipped with 35000 high school youth in New Orleans.  I have worshipped in very small venues, with rock music, beautiful meaningful hymns and many other places.

In college, I was able to experience different religions and see how they worshipped as well.  I have worshipped in a beautiful Jewish synagogue in downtown San Antonio.  I have worshipped at a Muslim mission center.  I have even worshipped several times at a Hindu temple.  One of the times I was there, one of the high "priests" was over from India and relayed one of the most theologically grounding sermons I have ever had the privilege to hear.  (especially since he did not know he was going to speak to a bunch of Lutherans that day who not only were not Hindu but definitely did not speak the langjuage.)

Worshipping God in a whole new way is kinda fun.  You know God has to have a sense of humor for some of these experiences I have been a part of.

Tonight was another page opened in my "worshipping God in a whole new way" book.  Tonight at church, we had a Polka Service.  Yes, all of those beer drinking, fun loving songs that you know from places like Wurstfest and Octoberfest with much different wording.  Wow?

To say that it was just interesting really doesn't touch the bizarre coolness of this service.  God has to have a sense of humor.  I have to say it is not something I would want to do every week.  As cool as beer drinking music is, I just personally theologically would have issues.  That is just me.

BUT, it was cool.  It is one of those things that I am definitely glad I experienced.  If nothing else, I saw some really excited church members who smiled alot more than normal.  It was fun.  It was an experience.

You know, in life we like our comfort.  We don't like to be challenged and we don't like to do what we are not used to.  This was one of those things but in a really awesome way.

Tonight, was a God thing.  God was there.  CTK was spirit filled.  God came to us in a very different way and everyone left with a smile on their face.  That can't be a bad thing.

AMEN

nuissances -- won't get me down

To use a very cliche phrase -- You have to keep your eye on the prize.
I currently have 4 fever blisters across my lips.  I have 2 more that are starting on my nose.  They suck.  They are gross.  They are annoying.

BUT -- they are temporary.  They will be gone in about a week.  I can bellyache about them and complain about how annoying and itchy they are, but what good does it do?  How is it benefitting my life?

2 years before Cade was born, I woke up at the end of a sinus infection with Bell's Palsy.  Bell's Palsy is a weird and strange virus thing that basically paralyzes half of your face.  I looked like a stroke victim.  It seems that they are linked to fever blisters.  ANNOYING!!!  That trip down Bell's Palsy lane lasted about 2 months.  I got moments where I was very depressed.  I had moments where I wondered if I was ever going to be able to smile right again.

You see, there is nothing really that they can do to FIX Bell's Palsy.  You pretty much have to let it run its course.

In January of my pregnancy with Cade, my Bell's Palsy came back.  The face went paralyzed.  I had no smile.  Steroid treatment can't happen when you are pregnant.  There was going to be a good chance that my face was going to be screwed up through the rest of my pregnancy.  Again I got depressed.  All those happy pregnancy pictures you are supposed to have -- didn't happen.  I had a hideous crooked smile.  One of my youth asked me why my smile was broken.  The day after I gave birth to Cade, my Bell's Palsy went away.  Now because that was 6 months of nerve damage -- I have a droopy eye; I have jumpy nerves in the right side of my face; and if I stretch my face the wrong way, OUCH!!

Every time I get fever blisters, I get scared to death that Bell's Palsy will return.  I practice smiling just in case it goes away.  I constantly blink my eyes, just in case I don't get that luxury (it is another fun ailment associated with BP -- you cannot close your eye and get to wear a pirate patch).

The funny thing about all of this --- It is temporary.  It is a nuissance and annoyance that doesn't last forever.  It is not contagious.  You can't die from it.  You just have a screwed up smile and get to wear a cool pirate patch.  There are things that could be much much worse.

In life, we let things drag us down.  We get bogged down by things that are just temporary -- the zit, the hurt ankle, the friend that won't talk to us, the friend that betrays us.  All of those things will go away.  All of those things are insignificant in the midst of millions of wonderful blessing that occur all the time.

So yeah, fever blisters suck.  I may have a pirate patch and a broken smile if Bell's Palsy comes back.  But I am so blessed that nothing trivial will EVER truly get me down.
AMEN

What is the color of Peace--Love??

I am a very visual person.  I enjoy finding inspiration in art.  I can spend hours at an art museum getting lost in the colors and shapes.  For several years, I took art classes.  They were fun.  They were a way for me to explore my spirituality in a much different way.  They were a way for me to express myself and my emotions in a way unlike any I have before.

Last night, I cast on for a new knitting project.  One of my friends was talking about making one of these things and it immediately made my mind go wild with thoughts about doing the same thing.  Think beyond a sock or a scarf -- this thing she is knitting is a meditation piece, a prayer piece that can be used in tons of different ways.

My husband doesn't understand why I can't just pray.  I can.  I do.  I have no problem just praying.  However, there are times when using tools -- candles, scriptures, music, etc -- my prayers are much more centering much quieter in my crazy mind.

All of this got me thinking about this knitting project.  Knitting for me is a prayer time.  If my project is for someone specific, I can spend time praying for that individual.  Many times whatever is on my mind becomes my prayer with a project.  I can see this specific project becoming both of those things.

I am not going to give a lot of details about this project.  It is going really quickly which excites me.  I have not decided on its recipient but I have some ideas..  The cool thing about this project is I am knitting it in natural wool.  When I finish the project I would like to dye it.  Dyeing yarn is a lot of fun but I can't decide on a color.

All of this got me thinking about what I look for in prayer and meditation.  Many of my prayers turn to quiet and peace.  I spend time praying for love of others and love of my self and my God.  Many of my prayers are for healing and renewal.  Prayer can be for anything.

So, my question for this particular prayer project -- what color is peace?  Yes white is purity and peace.  I am not dyeing this white.  White is not the first color I think of when I think of peace.  For the past few hours I have contemplated what my best "peace" color would be?  The more I thought about that the more I looked around at the art on my walls..  My peace color is pale golden yellow (painters call it naples yellow).  It is a rich scrumptious color that is peace for me.  But what is your peace color?

And then there is love.  Of course first thoughts might be pink and red, obviously.  More specifically, what colors bring you to a sense of love?  I think for me it would be spring shades of blue.  Blue for me is exciting.  Love for me is exciting.  Blue doesn't make me sad but livens me up, especially bright blue.

May we all experience peace and love through all of our lives.
AMEN

Rejoice in EVERYTHING!

Life has so many twists and turns that sometimes it is definitely difficult to keep up.  One minute you are flying this way and the next you are running that way.  In past blogs, I have talked about my difficulty slowing down and appreciating "being."  This is a little different.

I was reading through a devotion this morning from Oswald Chambers.  1 Thessalonians 5:18 says "In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

WOW!!!  In everything, give thanks.  No matter what?  I remember a speaker at a youth conference a few years back that talked about having all of his dreams in line when he was in high school.  He KNEW he was supposed to be this hot shot basketball player but the week before basketball season started, he threw his knee out.  He was out the whole season.  All of a sudden, his dreams and ambitions changed.  Life was not over by any means, but life was forced to head in a different direction.  BAM!  He hit a wall.  Where was he going to go now?  How was he going around this wall?

Life is like that sometimes.  There are times when you think you have it all together and in a flash, everything changes.  Change scares people.  People don't like change (or at least I don't).

So how do we rejoice and praise God when hitting a wall?  How do we find joy in uncertainty?  Many times when I have felt the biggest headache from that wall or the most uncertain, that is when I have to stop.  I have to stop and remember that God is there.  Many times I don't want to remember that I am safe and even though things might not make sense right then, I will come out on top.

I like was the Oswald Chambers devotion said this morning.  "Rejoice in everything if you are His child -- no matter where you find yourself, no matter what your circumstances are, no matter what tribulations come.  You can give thanks in all things because He remains the same.  Nothing alters him." (Devotions for a Deeper Life, p 24)

If there is one thing I have realized in my prayer life changes that I have made over the past few months, God has been there in all of them.  It is not that God is more there now then when I started praying way back as a little one.  No matter where I am, what celebration, or heartache, God is there with all of the warmth and comfort.  We just have to be open to that warmth and comfort, and not take it for granted.

AMEN

I'm not an intellectual, but I play one on TV

When I think to much, my brain hurts.  These past few days of facts and figures and numbers and numbers have really begun to make my head hurt.  I was the girl in college who was ELATED when she discovered that changing her major meant she only had to take one math class.  Math just ain't my thing.

I remember not too very long ago I breezed through life.  I didn't put concern with the deeper ends of things.  You see, if you stay in the middle where it is easy to go shallow or deep and tread water pretty easily in the mean time.  There is a point in everyone's life where flying by the seat of your pants is just easy.  Easy, though, is not always a good thing.

So... where am I headed with this.  I like things that make me think.  I like things that challenge the way I view something and understand something.  So often we live in our own little realities and comfort zones of information that we need that inspiration and plunge in to the deeper ends of life.

Small talk is small talk, but I think it is time to take some deeper plunges into the world.  One way I have started to do this in my own life is to actually read.  As I have said before, I am starting to read more.  I am finding that as I am challenging myself to read new and different things, I want more of it.  I want to read more.  This is a strange reality for me because I have never enjoyed reading.  I have run through the last 2 books at lightening speeds and while I wait for the new books to come from Amazon, I have 2 that I will be reading through on my bookshelves.

They say that a mind is a terrible thing to waste.  Not that I think I was wasting my mind, but I was far too comfortable in its use.  I didn't use nearly all of my brain guts.

I may not ever be good at math (in the words of Martin Luther, "This is most certainly true."), but I will never stop challenging the possibilities and potentialities of my mind.

AMEN

Zizi -- the little old lady rescued from a Haiti Catholic Cathedral and the photographer for Americares

Most of us live our lives relying on someone or something.  We spend our childhood relying on our parents providing us with  food, clothing and shelter.  As adults our reliance turns to government officials, our employers.  At times, hopefully more often than not we turn our reliance to the important place, God (our divine, our deity).

God provides for us.   We live, breathe, praise and show reverence for all that we have been given to God.  (or we should)

I think it is safe to say that most people have been caught up in the sadness, tragedy, survival that has come from Haiti's horrifying earthquake.  There have been stories on all sides of Haiti, including stories of death and stories of life.

I was reading through an article about the Haitian woman who was rescued from a Catholic Cathedral, Zizi.  Her story was one of extreme faith and devotion.  Her son, in the states, knew that at the time of the earthquake she would be in the collapsed Cathedral because that was where she always was at that time, without fail.  After a week and a day after being trapped in the rubble of the Cathedral, Zizi was rescued.

What I find most touching in this story is that on being rescued, she thanked God.  She told of her life during those days in the destruction.  She spoke with a vicar who was also trapped.  After several days, the vicar perished.  "I talked only to my boss, God," she told her rescuers. "And I didn't need any more humans."
(Her survival story can be found all over the internet but I got this particular quote from http://www.thespec.com/News/CanadaWorld/article/709777).

"I talked only to my boss, God," she told rescuers.  "And I didn't need any more humans."  Wow, that is a powerful statement of faith.  Can I say that and mean it?  Can I say with my greatest faith and devotion that I put all of my faith in God to protect and keep me safe.  Can I turn all of my reliance to God?

I would like to say yes.  In most places and parts of my life and faith, I can believe that God is providing me with all that I need.  In my deepest lows and my highest mountaintop experiences, I can see God.

Then there is a story I was just watching on CNN.  It is of the little boy that came out of the rubble with a huge grin on his face.  In his own little way, he looks like he is praising God.  The CNN news reporter, Moos, asks the photographer Matthew McDermott, if when he took the photo of the little boy and his big smile, if he was thinking that it could be a Pulitzer Prize winning photo.  The photographer immediately responded that that would be a little arrogant wouldn't it.  (Here is the video - http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/world/2010/01/21/moos.mile.wide.smile.cnn?hpt=C2 ).  McDermott also commented that "we don't sit around and pat ourselves on the back."

In life we not only rely on "humans" to use the words of Zizi but, we also rely on compliments.  We can say they are not important.  We can say that we don't need compliments, but they still make us feel good.  I remember when the little man from church a couple months ago said, " You know, Mariesa, you always do such a great job with the kids.  Thank you."  I would like to say that I didn't need to hear it, but I did.  When I mentioned on my status update that I had been installed 10 years ago a couple Sunday's ago, one of my youth said "And you're still an amazing director!"  I didn't need to hear it, but I did.

Where am I headed with all this?  With all the needs and desires of the world that we think are important, with all of the times when we say we don't need to be patted on the back, that we don't need to have our ego stroked -- help us to remember the words of Zizi the little old lady rescued in Haiti.  "I talked only to my boss, God," she told rescuers.  "And I didn't need any more humans.http://www.thespec.com/News/CanadaWorld/article/709777).

AMEN

It has been an interesting week... and the new blog

This has been the longest I have gone without blogging.  Really, it doesn't seem like that long but I usually have blogged 5 or 6 days a week.  After my HEB experience and realizing I needed to get back to the basics of what I want to get out of my blog, I decided to retire Texasknittery.  Mariesa's Road seems more fitting.  Reading through past blogs, I realized that this has been a road, a journey.  I am still figuring out where this journey and road leads.

I can say that I live my life fully and totally to honor and serve God.  The more I think about it as I have grown and changed over the years, almost everything I do, I do to honor God.  For instance, I participate in Praise Band at our church.  Praise Band is fun for me.  It has given me the opportunity to use my musical skills in a way that I can worship.  I know there are people out there that consider playing or singing in church as a performance.  Definitely not for me.

In talking with Pastor this week, we were talking about my blog and other things as it relates to my spirituality.  He asked why I blog.  Hmm, interesting question.  The more I think about it and wonder, I think I have always been a really public person.  I probably, in my lifetime, have been an over-sharer.  I definitely don't share for my ego.  On the contrary, from my blog, I have gotten into a lot of deep meaningful conversations about life and faith, struggles and concerns.  Often in the ministry we are asked how we share our faith with others.  I think very simply that this blog is becoming a way I can share my faith with others.

An updates on my book reading -- I have chosen 2 books that I am going through on prayer.  I had so many great recommendations and am researching all of those books as well.  The two books I am reading were on my shelf and have been mocking me.  Knowing that I needed to save some money this month, I decided they would be a great choice.

One is "Wonder, Fear and Longing; A book of prayers" by Mark Yaconelli.  This is a book that uses different forms of prayer to help people get into the habit of prayer.  We live such hectic lives that it is sad that we have to have a book teach us to have a relationship with God, but it is nice to have such a book.

The other is "Enjoy the Silence; A 30 day experiment on listening to God" by Maggie and Duffy Robbins.  This book bases your prayer on the Lectio Divina in your relationship with God.

Both are simple books that I will definitely be recommending to anyone who wants to learn more about silence and prayer.